it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
