Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
