I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
How external is "for external use only"?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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