How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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