omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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