my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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