THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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