Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
