He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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