You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
