Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
