I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
