She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize
