Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You made out with two different species that night
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize