I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
