Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
