i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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