I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Are we still banned from the library?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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