I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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