Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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