she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
