Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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