Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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