the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
