another moral hangover. fuck.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
