found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
