i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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