You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
