Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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