Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
