Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize