masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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