I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
