Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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