Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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