i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
