he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
