i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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