what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
