dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
