First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize