also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize