Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
