she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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