Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
