I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
