Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
