he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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