Your tits are I can't wait for
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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