I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
What a dumb baby whore.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
