How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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