too bad you live with your parents still
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
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