i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
