We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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