he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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