I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
