Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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