their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i love accidental penises.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
