Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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