Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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