hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize