U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Come see our sink grown plant.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
