My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
