So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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