we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
